I'm A Host!
[Yawwwwwwwwn] Been up for the last 3-4 hrs setting up a hostees Moveable Type interface. Now if i host you, you get ur own MT interface to use. it's all free. Ask
Odobea and
Bubbles.
Here's what you get when i host ya:
1. A subdomain. Like this; http://you.dotfaf.com
2. Some space. I havent got unlimited space i have 200MB and i dont use much of it so you have to be reasonable in how you use the space. If you upload large images and music files i'll just kick you off
3. At least one mySQL database. You can request for more. I may or might not give you another one
4. Frontpage support. You have to request it
5. An email address in this format you@dotfaf.com. Also you can have anything@you.dotfaf.com forwarded to you.
6. A webinterface for checking mail [havent got this working yet]
7. Pop3 mail checking with at least 3MB of space. Enough for normal mail... not enuff for storing junk files on there.
8. Your own CGI-BIN directory.
9. LIMITED bandwidth, i get 1000MB with my account.... so i wont host you if your site is too popular.
10. I have to know you. I dont host any random people from Timbuktu.
There's more. If i know you, and you need some place to put up a website for free just tell me what you want and i'll see if it's possible. You dont even have to link to me... the only thing it does is get me more visitors and eat my bandwidth. :)
Okay now i'm tired... i have tomorrow off from work so i'm gonna play some Unreal Tournament. Catch you later.
Ich Bin Ping Pong
Slew, wanted something fun? Go
ping pong
Ping Pong Update: Ich Bin Winner!!
Yeah baby... 11-7, 11-7,11-6. Can youse do any better?
Accra Pictures
I like browsing directories. There's so much you can find that way.
This one was by accident but werent a few important inventions/discoveries by accident?
[Note: Pictures are large it's help if you had IE6 to auto-resize the images after they load]
The Thing About Being Left-Handed
I've always done this. I'll be on the phone, noting things down with my left hand [or doodling], and using my right hand to enter messages in an IM window.
It's something I take for granted and i would've continued to do so had i not seen something Mo Morgan wrote about a year ago
I think it's rather like the way right handed people take no notice of the fact that the mouse is always on the right-hand side of the keyboard. When i started using my first comp [Apple Mac Os i dont remember, 1998]... it took quite a while before i adjusted myself to use my right hand to control the mouse. It's paying off now when you think of it. Except of course i'm slower at games that require a lotta mouse-eye co-ordination. I always get beaten at Quake or Unreal Tournament when i play online... but it's SO worth being able to doodle whiles chatting on Yahoo! messenger and still talk on the cellie.
The Stupid Translator
Here we go:
After Application of Stupid Translator
If I see a side(page) (position), I may, I satisfy myself to go by it to see what I have missed everything that (knows) during I didnt which it knows, it existed.
Therefore, I bring you the stupid translator of Mo Morgan. Besides, she is likely to be started to surprise to itself, why I combine to her so much in one day. Somehow...
Before Application of Stupid Translator
When i see a site i like, i make sure to go thru it to see what i've been missing all that while that i didnt know it existed.
That's why i'm bringing you the stupid translator from Mo Morgan. She's probably going to start wondering why I'm linking to her so much in one day. Anyhow...
Talking With-Style
I'm just getting off the phone with
Nicola (With-Style). Even though she says on her site:
I love living in Manchester and have no problems with the whole UK stereotype...
I hadnt heard the Mancunian accent in a long time. I'm due for another visit to Manchester sometime this X'mas. I'll hear more of it.
Now come to think of it, what accent do i have? You guys that have heard me talk. Marian, Abe, Ewurama, Kaye, Nicola.... ummm Mum? What do i talk like? What accent do i got?
He - She - It - Neuter?
I'm not so sure now that
Mo Morgan is female. I guess i mentioned the name "Mo" in my head and thought of
Mo Mowlam, that outspoken UK MP.But now that i've taken my time to read a bit more of, compelled to say, "her" site. I'm thinking, what if it' short for Mohammad? i got a friend that calls himself Mo. But Moorgan isnt exactly an Islamic name is it? Anyway, i'm still looking for that "About Me" section.
Hmmmm....
Even the people at blo.gs perfectly worded their thanks to Mo so as not to misconcieve what sex s(he) is. Maybe i'm gonna launch a new project called "What sex is Mo?". Anyone know?
Blogistics
Look at this:
The low-water mark is 45 weblogs, on 12/24/2001; 1:41:03 AM.
That is from
weblogs.com and the low-water mark mentioned there is for the number of blogs pinging their site to be added to the "recently updated list".
I can only guess, but I'da thought blogger never got time off during Christmas? What happened to all those posts saying "Merry Chrismas to All my readers"?
I know there's little chance that Dave Winer, the guy that runs weblogs.com, will see this but in case he does i have a question for him? Can you show the last 20 low-water marks on the site? maybe we'll spot a trend here.
Jean Fool
I have this sort of cycle with my jeans. I have about three pairs at any one time. I wear only one pair at any one time. Not what you're thinking silly! I know everyone [well almost] wears a pair at a time but i meant i have a "favorite" and i keep on wearing it till it's worn out or i buy a new one on some impulse, then i shift it down the list. Then the one at the bottom of the list is chucked in the bin cos it'd be about three years old
My current pair of Moto jeans has run it's course even though it's only a year and a half. Or maybe it's cos I chucked the 3rd in-line the other day when i was doing some general cleaning.
I dont plan on going window shopping anytime soon but next time i take a trip to Oxford Street or Wood Green Shopping Centre ( -re! -re! -re!) i'll be keeping an eye out for some Levi's. But then again, the current Gap ads have caught my attention.
Oh and i'm still waiting for my sample pair of JAZ jeans, Gadey. [archive]
A Painted House: A Whale of a Story
Have you had a look at the
Overview section on my site? If so you'll know how i feel about vegetarians, priests and the Bible story of
Jonah and the Whale among others.
Someone else agrees with me on that:
"...Then she made us hold hands and close our eyes while she lifted her voice to heaven and for a very long time asked God to receive poor Jerry into his... embrace.
... There was something odd about this. As Baptists, we'd been taught... that the only way to make it into heaven was by believing in Jesus...
...It was straightforward, unwavering, and without loopholes, compromise or wiggle room.
And anyone who did not accept Jesus and live a Christian life simply went to hell. That's where Jerry Sisco was, and we all knew it.
...It was a strange prayer, and [then] she finally said 'amen'. If outlaws like the Siscos could make it to heaven, the pressure was off the rest of us.
Then she started on Jonah and the Whale again.."
-- Luke Chandler (Seven-Year-Old) :A Painted House by John Grisham
I dunno if you want to say Mr. Grisham agrees with me or whether it's the character that agrees with me about that story... all that matters is that i'm not alone in thinking what i've been thinking all this while.
Le Parnk Superme
Here's a parnk... oh i meant prank you can play on some friends. i say friends cos the aim here isnt to fuck 'em over and out. Just to have a few laughs over the next coupla days or months while they sruggle to type up word documents.
Those version of Microsoft Word that i have used have this nifty auto-correction tool. You type a word wrong and if it's so obvious no other word will suffice it makes the changes for you.
For example when you type "i" anywhere in the page on it's own it's instantly corrected to "I". Another common one is when you type "teh" instead of "the". Good huh?
Now the list of common errors is stored somewhere in word and if you can get to it.. oh the possibilities. I'll tell you how to get there: From your MS Word menu bar, click on "Tools >> Autocorrect Settings". I'm not sure if it's the same for MS Word 2000 tho. Anyway you're looking to see something like this:
Now here's the fun part. This is your so-called friend'scomputer, so you go in there and set up Word to replace any occurence of "The" with "Le", "I" with "Ich", "is" with "est"... just use you imagination. You can even throw in a few profanities just for maximum effect. Just remember to set it up with regular words cos there's no use if the person wont notice and start compllainin till another two years have passed. Oh... you can replace their first name with "Ben" and thier surname with "Dover". Ben Dover, geddit? If they're female try Ivana Humpalot or Pussy Galore or Pussyfoot Peaches.
Now sit back and watch them over the next couple of weeks suffer. Of course you wont know anything about it. You'll pretend to be as baffled as they are. You can then walk in and be their Knight in shining armour when you've had enough of the joke.
One thing you wanna do though before you set out to mess with that list is to note down any changes you make. It's not fun when after a while when they keep sending assignments to lecturers with headings like "Le Study of Market Systems: An European Context by Homer Simpson". You wanna be able to restore it to what it was like before you decided to make an enemy out of your friend.
Making a Phone Call
Pay attention to the cards on the right, then speculate.
Veggies Gone Wild
This gives a whole new meaning to eating your vegetables [
Rude Vegetables]
His Name is Mo!
At last i have something to work with. Mo morgan has finally hinted on what sex he is in
this post.
Scroll down a bit and you'll realise i almost started a project called "Which sex is Mo". You'll als notice i've started referring to him as "He" insteado of "She".
Just by the way
Tom Clancy: Red Rabbit
Went over to Hammicks @ Walthamstow central to get myself a book. I'm plannig a weekend away from London (i'll tell you where to later) and i'll be going by coach so i needed something to keep me from screaming "let me outta here!" after being stuck on the coach for thatlong.
The plan was to get me a book. A paperback. A small one. Something i can read within two days and still have LOTS of time for other things. I'd been thru all the books there and realised I'd read all of Grisham's books (except the Runaway Jury which i've bought and lost twice and all of Koontz's books (except the latest one out in the US only, By The Light of The Moon)
So i got me my first Audio Book (CDs really). And it's Red Rabbit by Tom Clancy. I've only read one of his books previously but i think i'm gonna enjoy it. Though of course i hope my first ever audio book was by Koontz.
All-in-One Entry
Well firstly, i'm taking this weekend off. I'll be in Nottingham, those who can put two-and-two together, do so. Those who cant go read
tristorm. Enough about that one already.
Secondly, I watched my first episode of Six Feet Under [and i'm not gonna link to it!]. Abe's always told me she was watching it and how good a show it was. So i watched one episode and was put off by the gay making-out scenes. I guess you could say i'm not ready for that on my TV screen. No really, i aint kidding i found it gross. I always thought i could imagine... nah i cant talk avbout this.
Hmmm... i've always wondered why it wasnt possible to run cars on piss, or water, or umm.... cooking oil. Why is it illegal anyway?
Oh shoot, i forgot the last thing i was gonna blog about anyway, I'll be off to the victoria coach station by 4pm (BST) tomorrow. I'm getting into the Audio Book thing now thought nothing can ever beat the joy of "feeling paper" between your fingers as Brownie (slightly under the influnce) so put it.
Moveable Type 2.5
You wont notice but i've upgraded to
MT 2.5.
x
Shameful Snoring
As your host is currently engaged in some serious hard drive installation with his computer; (tryin to shove as many components as he can into it.. why won't he learn that there's only so much a lady can take.. lol?), I thought I'd bridge the gap with some fairly meaningless blogging.
Do you snore? If so, are you ashamed of doing so? Snoring is something that approximately 40% of adults do regularly. So thats just under half the population. Snorers disrupt the sleep of others let alone themselves, however they play an important part in society; prescence. How else would you know if someone was there, except to prick your ears to hear them move about?
Ok, disregard the last sentence or two, I don't know what tangent I was on. But the point I'm making is, there's nothing to be ashamed of if you do snore, & there's no reason to laugh at others for doing so. Accept snorers into our society as equals and perhaps try wearing ear mufflers if they annoy you that much. Why can't we all learn to get along in this world?! Why?!
If so, maybe it'd be a better place to live in.
I Dont Snore! I Dont Snore!!
And what will i do if i didnt have people who snore, vegetarians, gays, priests and umm.... people who fall down on the ice when it's snowing to laugh at?
I havent really given you any updates on the time taken off in Notts. mainly cos i cant and wont. Anyway, Abe and i came back to london togather and having a convo on the phone she goes "You these so many faces, the puppy-dog face,..., the snoring face"
Really, i refuse to believe i snore. How many times i tease people that snore. When i was in the boarding house in Accra Aca, i prided myself in the fact that i was only one of the two people in my cubicle that didnt snore. We'd tease the rest of those poor souls.
I know i teased 'em about it enough that if i did snore a single "ZZzz.." everyone woulda jumped up and made fun of me till the rest of my stay in Bleoo. I talk in my sleep. And Mante, Charles and co made a habit of recording my "nightly discussions" with unknown people. It was like every week there was this tape with my voice of of sometimes mumbling shit no one understands othertimes practising my pronounciation of the word "pronunciation" [We'll get into that later]. I'm sure they'da recorded me snoring just to prove that i wasnt just a somniloquist but a low-life snore-a-loquist
My mum snores. Loudly enough that i can hear her from my room. I'm always having a go at her. Basically if you snore you're the butt of any jokes i can think up when around you. You dont think she'da told me, "Yeah what's your problem? You snore too you lil' piece of shit!"?
So there Abeyna, I dont snore... unless of course you find someone to give a second opinion. But until such a time when i can get a 2nd opinion.... you snorers will remain on my list of people to take th piss out of. And maybe i'm gonna add people that take the Rainbow 5
Changes
I left the job @
Monoux. Only reason i left was that the job wasnt secure. I loved it there but i had a feeling i was too expendable and that they wudnt be needing me in a matter of weeks. Best choice therefore was to leave whiles i could.
I've curretly taken on a job in telesales. Cold calling bastard. Yeah me, but at least THAT job is guaranteed for 6 months even though ican leave if i find a better job.
The shitty thing though is that like any job in telesales, the hours are a bit late. From 3pm to 9pm. Very unsociable if you ask. Maybe i can still make full use of Le Weekends. I've had it for a week already and it showing in my fequency of updates on the site.
Wish me luck though.
More Changes
I talked to Linda. My first girlfriend last nite. Or was it more of this dawn? I hadnt talked to her in almost a year. She's in Ghana and i somehow managed to call anyone except my family in a long time.
Talking to her made me realise how much i've changed. She's 2years and some months older than i am. I know she's that changed by now cos it's getting to almost 3 years since since i last saw her. Anyway... when we were together she used to get really ticked off with me swearing.. even if i'm singing along to a song. I know i didnt swear a lot then cos i didnt tick her off that much by doing that. Now talking to her... ifound myself pausing so many times to stop myself from dropping my regular-usage expletives.
Instead when i could catch myself quick enough i used "messing" alot instead. Well as my friend Michael used to say; "Human beings are dynamic" and that was when we were about 10 and i had no fucking idea what "dynamic" meant.
dotFAF.com Wallpaper
Abe made this nice
wallpaper for me.
If you guys wanna use it too, i'm sure Abe wouldnt mind
Stating The Obvious
The new job in telesales is going just right. As they say... it's all hunky-dory. Touch wood [
touches tip of nose].
Anyway some things are beginnig to piss me off already. it nothing to do with the owrk place. It's with the customers. It's not with half of them telling me to basically "fuck off". it's not with people hanging up when u're in the middle of a sentence. It's the way people pcik up the phone and go "Hello this is 6793451"
Of course it is. I called you. I dialled that number so dont tell me it's 6793451. Why do people say that anyway? If i dialled "11233" then i expect it to go to 11233 so why tell me what i've dialled. Besides they say it too fast you cant even be sure what number they just mentioned.
I'm trying to think of a reason why people do that and the only thing i can come up with is that when telephone exchanges were first invented calls might've been routed to the wrong homes hence saying ur number again just so the person knows. We've come a long way since so i dont expect you tp freaking tell me which number i just dialled. Why dont they also say "You've just been talking to 1233455"? Huh? Why not? Seems they aim to piss me off anyway.
On another note.... totally unrelated. Just giving Shayna, Atlanta, Geogia her due props. She's one gorgeous lass. She says i cant handle her... I probably could but i'm already loved up.
What Odds?
What are the odds that I'd be alling a Miss A Jones @ work? Maybe it's not so high but i still think it's some pretty unnerving shit. I almost expected to hear Abe's voice at the other end:
E5: Episode5
Abeyna and I decided to register a website together for business purposes,
Episode5.com. I dont know what kind of business purposes that is gonna be but what i mean is that it wont contain persoanl stuff. No blogs, no tag boards or anything like that. Might be a showcase of projects we embark on together or apart... so long as it looks professional
Dont ask where the name comes from... Abe came up with it. Well half of it. It's got no meaning whatsoever for either of us... we plan on making it mean something over the years.
"Trick or Treat, Muthafucka!"
I've had the busiest week. I've worked all 7 days of thw week being stupid to answer "yes" both times when i was asked "Wanna work on Saturday?" and "Wanna work on Sunday?"
I've basically been living on Pro-Plus for the past two days. Anyway, i still managed to find time to go see Halloween: Resurrection, the eighth installment of the Halloween series of movies. I havent seen the previous 7 and really couldnt give a toss about them. Only reason i went to see this was cos Busta Rhymes is in it. This is his first leading role and I wasnt disappointed.
My favorite moment in it all is [close your eyes if you plan on watching it];
... when it looks like Michael Myers had killed Freddie (Busta) by stabbing him twice in the back... and is getting ready to finish off the only other survivor...
Freddie breaks down the door [from outside], takes a look at Michael and goes,
"Trick or Treat, Muthafucka!", does some kung-foo sounds, and kicks the shit outta our serial killer. Now THAT was something!
-- Tyra Banks, Busta Rhymes and director Rick Rosenthal behind the scenes
Sheep Shagger
Found this joke whiles trawling thru some old files on my backup disks:
An Australian ventriloquist visiting Wales, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He Figures he'll have a little fun.
Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Villager: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
The Ventriloquist gestures at the field behind him,
"Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Villager: (total look of amazement)
The Ventriloquist gestures again.: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Villager: "The sheep's a bloody liar"
Some of you might not get it at first unless you know this
Picture Puzzle
I've been trying to solve
this picture puzzle for close to an hour now. Am i just too dumb? Can you do any better?
Some Entertainment
Cos y'all love pussies so much.. remember that wet pussy? as in kitten?! .. ok, Faf will probs delete some of the words in this.. I've overstepped my designated 'one swear word per entry', although I haven't exactly sworn.. anyway, back to the point..
Kitty Hip Hop
Flashback
Was looking thru my stuff the other day when the sick bag they gave on the plane when i was coming to London from Accra. But that was two years ago, you say? Well the only reason i have it is that i wrong a letter on it to my then girlfriend Linda. I wrote it on the plane and as i hadnt thought to bring somewriting paper along i grapped the first one i could get my hands on.
So here's an excerpt from the letter i wrote to Linda Bernard from 35000 feet up in the air on the 22nd January 2000.
Hiya Linda,
Well, where do i start from.... Yeah! I know, i'll start from the plane taking off and me thinking about whether you remembered what we talked about on the night of passion. Cos if you did then you would've been sitting out there watching the planes pass over.
Anyway, I had a good seat. One by the window. And wow! Accra looks beautiful from the sky. All those lights. I fell in love with it. Too bad i have to leave.
Now lemme take you thru the rest of the flight. Errr... Yeah, you remember "Desmond's"? That show sometimes ago on television? That's what i watched inflight. Had some laughs from it.
And then the chow came. I was looking at the menu and wanted to ask... "can i just get some tea-bread with Milo?" Nah... not really.
..........
The Menu
....
Maquereau Fumé
....
Blanquette D'agneau à L'ancienne
Pommes de terre Nouvelle
Haricots Verts et au Carottes au Beurre
Ou
Poulet Pouchée Sauce Tomate Piquante
Riz au Safran Petits Pois et
Mais Doux au Beurre
Ou
Poisson Poêlé Sauce D'Epinard Piquante
Riz Pilaw et Banane du Pais
....
Mousse D'Orange Avec de la
Créme Chantilly
....
Fromage et Biscuits
....
Café/Thé
..........
Look at the first item on the menu. Wondered how a mackerel that was fuming angry after being caught in a net will taste like? Hmmm... I passed on that.
And i guess i didnt want to know what a blanket that had been diagnosed at Lancienne as having the pommes (pompo) tasted like either.
The fourth item. Of course since it had been poisoned by a chef called Poele who was having a bad day at the hotel Riz. Well, he slipped on a banana peel and lost his Pais (purse)... it probably wouldnt have done me any good.
But i had to choose anyway and since i was beginnig to feel a bit cold now, i opted for the blanket with that evil diagnosis. And it tasted like ... urgh! makes me wanna puke.
For desert i didnt have a choice about the chanting mouse trying to balance himself on an orange that had been smeared with cream. I feel sorry for that lil' animal already.
Now fromage. My french isnt that good but i know that one. Everyone knows that right? I know i learnt it from dexter chanting "Ommelette du Fromage" over and over again. "et Biscuits"? Oh... dumb as you are, i'm sure you do realise it's our own ayigbe biskits.
I couldnt go to thé café though even though i was cold. Y'know how much i dont like eating hot food. I decided to go off to sleep again...
[This is when it got all mushy, you gotta pay to read the rest :-) ]
Well there's me trying to be funny at 35000 feet in the air. Maybe i'll find more letters lying around i which are not that personal. Might share them. Might not.
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