The Second Craziest Thing

Denise Schroeder @ On aStick writes:

Denise... if you're seeing this... please tell me what the craziest thing is. I cant wait to hear from her.

Death On The Thames

Death On The Thames
"UK POLICE EXPECTED IN GHANA"
On AllAfrica News: Ghana

Le Weekend

Been a busy kindda weekend with me. Took time off work on Friday cos Abe was coming down to London.... again.

Anyway, we had dinner in this chinese place. I tried unsuccesfully to learn to use chopsticks. And then for some reason we dicided to go down south to Bexleyheath, where she lives, together.

So on saturday, I met her family. It was all going good until i got this call from someone were just gonna call Emma for now. Basically she had a problem with this post, that one and this entry.

Think nearly 3 minutes of a continuous rant. "I thought you and I were friends... Didnt know you wrote that stuff about me... All the time you were being nice... Yeah I'm gonna go talk to a lawyer". Yeah along those lines. C'mon!! So then i made a decision, being as stubborn as i've always been.

The link is on a public site, anyone can link to it. I hadnt said anything about her that was any slanderous... or constituted as such. She really wouldnt lemme have a say. Anyway... I got insulted a coupla times and that made me more infelxible about whether to take some of the stuff down or change the name. [Yeah that never works with me].

Anyway so i'm at home the lastnite. One of my mates from Accra Academy, Samuel Halm, who'd been in London for a while now but who i hadnt got a chance to see gives me a call and tells me he's Living literally right around the corner from me ie. Finsbury Park.

I went round to his place. We talked a lot about 3/4 years ago. Then we decided to have a meal at The Golden Stool. While there we found some Ghanaian dignitaries having a meal there as well. I think one of them was Nana Otuo Acheampong but i can't be sure. Anyway... it seems they were in the middle of some deal of some sort and so dint want their picture taken. I got one anyway. A Ghanaian version of Pelican Brief you think?

It was nice getting in touch again. NEway, after i got back home. Around about 9pm, I get another call from Emma. And she's "sorry". Well it seems that's worked cos as of now any reference to her is under tha name "Emma" and the links have been removed.

That's been one long weekend.

She

Went to work tonite and this new girl's kept a lot of us guys alert thru-out the evening. Her name's Emiliy and somehow she decided she was gonna flirt with all the guys she made eye-contact with. I happened to be sitting right next to her so she took it a bit further with note-passing an' all.

I could barely concentrate most of the time but at least I wasn't feeling sleepy like on most days. She's gorgeous... really. And she's blowing kisses @ me, licking her lips and looking at me. What could i do but stay alert? The downside was that i was on the dialler some of the time and not listening to what the people wer saying at the other end of the phone.

I know where i'm sitting tomorrow! No where near her! Abe's made that pretty clear.

On another seemingly unrelated matter, Abeyna thinks i'm being sexist by saying she writes like a girl... and i dont. When i say girl... i dont mean as in "sissy" girl... but gil as in female... woman... y'know, girl. Am I? Oh... Doobs, you write like a girl too... that obsession with Alias! You girl! Such a girl! Ok ok... i'll stop before i get in trouble.

Fo Shizzo Ma Nizzle

Yo ma nizzzles and bizzles, you gotsa take yo azzover to the snoop dog shizzolator or i'ma bust a cap in yo azz. See wut the shizzo has done to my site.

He says

So, your author has instructed me to blog for him as he's currently on the bus on his way home after a late night adventure to the pub after work!

Quoted.. exclusive!:

Does that make (much) sense? Don't worry, he calmed down considerably a while after that, although apparently his bladder was so enlarged it was touching his stomach. I explained (naturally) that it would be unlikely as the bladder expands superiorly and laterally (on the right side of the body, not the left). Try explaining that to a (drunkard!)

So he's back to work today with the flirting, boozing etc. I told him it sounds like one of those old victorian public houses AKA brothels.

Parting Ways

So Fidele is finally leaving for the US of A. This Monday she says. She's s'posed to've left a long time ago but she for some complications here and there. I've known her for a good part of the last two years and we've had more petty quarrels than any married couple would have in a lifetime. But i might miss her and that's the thing

I was hoping we could go get a drink together for the last time before she left but she's already arranged with some friends (10 girls!). This puts me outta the picture. How do i blend in? Nah... i had to pass... not that i was being invited, but i didnt press to go. Naturally. Anyway maybe i'll see her again...

Ok now i gotta do this: In the previous post Abe was implying was drunk. You guys dont believe that do you? I drunk much less alcohol than that time in that curry place, Abe. That rant about people that drop litter is a genuine one with a clear head. I so hate it when people spit on sidewalks. Dont you wanna punch then in the mouth? make 'em lick the spit from the ground? Ok maybe a fine will do.

Are You All There?

I'm reading this entry on the ClubGH forums and i'm wondering about the person that posted it, "Are you normal?"

Funilly enough he starts with "It's normal". Maybe it was when i was 15 and 16 but now? I know the writer isnt 15 or 16 cos he's an Alumi of motown [or s'posed ot be]. Anyway... how many of you guys are embarassed if a girl "catches" you staring at her rump. Not me. I smile... i make her know "Yeah... i'm looking.. i like your goods" Pity... you're going the other way. You dont go looking like you've been caught with your hand in the till.

There's always this argument you use: "Admiring God's creation" or for the evolutionist theorists out there "I'm just admiring nature". So dont be embarassed.... it'll only natural that you try to look in a girl's eyes when she's passing you by. Or give her that smile that says "Yeah i'm single..." Even when you're so not. Or to turn around and watch her rear. Just dont trip. And if you do... dont fall!

Put a Sock in It!

Another Gimmick! Collect as many email addresses as you can within a week!

Which? Magazine is having this competition where a washine machine is left to run till it breaks down. Of course it'll be aided by putting "some items" in it. Brick, anyone?

It's just started so you guys better hurry up and go predicting. How lond till [in mechanical voice] SYSTEM OVERLOAD

A Story of Professors

Following Faf's recent break to fame by being interviewed by a professor, (who in fact turned out to be a fellow).We discussed (beforehand) what this person may look like.

When you think of 'professor', you probably think of this:

An aged guy with a large moustache, wild hair and an overly eccentric charisma. Yes, some professors are like this. Then again, a large proportion of society is like this. The professor is to be found living in a laboratory, sewing the likes of a pig to a 3-footed Duckbilled Platypus. Faf also mentioned (in a jocular manner of course), that they make have hygiene problems and be bald. Whether the baldness is due to age or stress, is yet to be ascertained.

A slightly more modern view of a professor;

Reminds me of the average lecturer I have at uni. A li'l lost on the body weight, with thick 'intelligent' glasses, they're usually approachable and can be found with an algebraic background.

This kind of professor is more-so the quiet type. But there always seems to be smoke billowing around them. Must be the cigars.

Finally, the young, attractive professor.

The kind you get in some teen movies where the student falls in love with the young professor who probably specialised in Seduction than anything else. This image is probably the closest (out of the three), that the fellow looked like;

Attractive, young and american.
(GOD BLESS AMERICA!)

Dream, Interrupted

Y'all know i work till late now so i sleep till the afternoon. I dont wake up till around noon and then begin getting ready for work.

This morning however i had to wake up at around 10am. Another unusual thing was that i dreamt. I think my bad sleeping habits prevent me from dreaming and when i actually do, i forget most of 'em.

Anyway this dream was like this:

Maybe you dont get it, but it was MY dream and the whole implication of that call was that someone i knew had been in an accident and was being fitted with a false limb of some sort. Scary shit huh? Well a coupla hours later i call Abe and she tell me she's coming back from "a hospital visit". Hmmm... thank god it was only for educational purposes 'cos i'da been forced to belive that dreams may have some significance afterall.

Anyway that call i had to pick? It was big bro. He'd recieved some mail at my place even though he hadnt lived there in 7years. It was some people trying to sell porn vids and mags. Anyway... he called to tell me to ask the postman to return it next time so they'll know he doesnt live there anymore.

Talk about the past coming back to haunt you!

New Splash: Pro Plus Popper

Yeah so i pop pills. Or are they tablets? Even though i havent taken pro plus since that episode Abe made this new splash page for me. This is my first "Guest Splash". In that, i didnt do it myself... so if you think you got something for me... just mail it to me and i just might put it up.

I'm thinking of a special X'mas splash but maybe i should stick to convention and ignore all the holidays and festivities. I've never had a special splash for a holiday period of some sort. I might start now... but that would mean this current one wont last long.

Anyway check out the updated poll. In the last poll, asking for what you guys hated most, it seems the least hated thing was "pissing in the shower". Now i'm gonna ask how many of you piss in the shower or bath.

Jigga Knowles

Q: What do you get when you cross Jigga man with Beyonce "Nasty Girl" Knowles?

A: Something that will scare the beejeezus out of Swamp thing

-gay VS -gey

I live in London, y'all know that already. North London, Tottenham. Tottenham is in the borough of Haringey or so i thought.

I had an interview for a new job on Friday and coming back i thought i'd go shoping for another suit in Wood Green. It was a long bus journey and i got bored reading so i started reading road signs, billboards and stuff. The i notice the council wasnt consistent with it's spelling of "Haringey". On some bill boards it was spelt with a -gay on some bins it is spelt with an ending -gey.

Now i'm confused... I came back home and went thru some of the mailing they send us. There's the same inconsistency. Their official URL is with a -gey. Abe says it's spelt with a -gey and that she lived here for [insert random number here] years. But even on thier site they sometimes use the ending -gay

Anyone know of a reason why this should be so? Is it an error that's spreading? If so which one is right? Abe says maybe it's supposed to promote homosexuality... and asked if there were a lotta -gays in my area. Anyway i dont think i wanna go into where that conversation led to.

UPDATE:

I received this from Huseyin Huseyin on 06.Dec.2002

UPDATE: (19.05.2003 | 18.54 )

Received this a week ago from Hugh Flouch. He sounds like he knows what he's talking about:

You Wouldnt Have Guessed!

So you see someone walking down the road... you cant guess what they think about anything. That's why i love people with blogs. You can find out so much about them without ever meeting them.

Sometimes you find the wierdest things when you're scorungi site. One of my hostees, Odobea [which isnt her real name, I only just found out] writes in her "100 Things about me" section :

Who was that guy? Please call me on +44 (0) 7951 440 507 if you are that guy or knows who he is. We can serialize your sexual escapages with dooby here and you can make urself a big fat cheque.

Kofi Kofi Kofi Kofi Kofi

Kofi Kofi Kofi Kofi Kofi

Yeah, this is my own bit of google bombing. For those of you that dont know, My full, real name is Fred Kofi Anane Frimpong. No i was NOT named after Kofi Annan. In fact i think he's Hijacked the name all for himself.

I wanna take over. I want to be the most popular "Kofi" on Google. I went thru the top 1000 links. Not a single page from dotFAF. About 970 of those were about yoo-no-hoo. I'm gonna try to change that starting now:

For Your Information: Kofi is a predominantly west African name. In Ghana it's used for a male child born on a Friday. That just means there are millions of Kofi's in Ghana alone. Now add Benin, Cameroon, Togo, Guinea?, Niger?. So it's just not fair that Mr Annan is always associated with it. Anytime i tell people my middle name or fill out application forms that require my full name i get asked that question; "Are you related to umm... ?". Well in a way i am.

If you wanna help you can but this code below in your page if you have a site:

This will appear on ur site as: Discuss Kofi on dotFAF.com

If you have a weblog, you can put the longer version (below) in it:

If you have an MT powered blog, you can ping this entry with this URL:
http://www.dotfaf.com/cgi-bin/mt/mt-tb.cgi/147

Now let's wait and see what will become of this in a week or so. Meanwhile though you can keep checking up on Google to see if i've made any headway into the list.

100,000th Hit

I'm writing this now because my hitcounter is approaching the hundred thousandth mark. It will be a draft until the counter reaches 100000. There is a hidden surprise for the person that loaded the page.

Dont go snooping around the source, it's all in PHP so cant see. Anyway, whoever you are let's just say Christmas has come early for you. Contact me with the key that was shown on ur screen and i'll send you the mystery gift.

100,000 hits in 19 months is good. At this rate i'll hit a million in another 4 years.

Gha-ya-na, Guyana, Ghana

Elsa seems a bit bothered about having to lie to someone about where she comes from. I've had to do is so many times i cant be bothered anymore to correct them.

It's usually:

"So where are you from?"
"Ghana" I say
"Ooh, my girlfriend is from the caribbean as well" or somethig similar.

Those times when i could give a shit, i'll try to explain to them that i was African, and that Ghana was indeed in Africa.

Then i got these stupid comments back:

"Oh, i didnt know they spoke english in Africa" or
"Hmm... you dont look African, where's you Kinta Kunte headgear?"

So now i just play along... and keep nodding till they get tired of it. Now though i have armed myself with one weapon concerning the geography of Guyana. Courtesy Elsbro