Episode One:
Very early in the morning. I'm just returning from my little summer job, I have the whole day of work ahead of me and I'm already tired so I'm in a lil' bit of a dull mood. Then accross the road I see a couple making thier way accross towards me. They were speaking twi:
"Ehh... Saa fonecard no dié ényé!". That was the lady.... she was pregnant and the guy was probably the one who did her in. Anyway what she meant was "That phonecard isnt good".
Then the guy went on to say something abt how much problems he's been having trying to use the card.... by then our paths were just crossing in the middle of the road and impulsively, I said "Ehh... Mahu saa adié no.... e'yaa tó £10 dié no" meaning "Yup... been having the same fucking problems too with the phonecard... why dont u try the £10 ones?"
You would xpect either of them to acknowledge me at least!! ha... nope they just looked at me for a split second and without any facial xpression of any kind... paased by.
Hell! I'd spoken twi for god's sake!! It's not everyday u get to meet ppl who speak twi barging into ur conversation... didnt even get pissed off. Just walked on like nothing happened. The most eerie thing of all is the look.... the damn look they both gave. I bet u Nkrumah's bald head, U've never seen it b4.
I cant begin to describe it, but the closest I can imagine is this:
The look on the face of a non-art-appreciative gay guy looking at the painting of the Mona Lisa. He's obviously not into art and doesnt get turned on by the Mona Lisa chic or her face or her tits. I think that abt descibes it enough.
Anyway... Those two gave me a real scare. Made me think I lost making-people-laugh thing.
Episode Two:
After the first "humiliation"... I've come home and I'm waiting till I can start my second job of the day. My lil' 3year-old cousin is around. They came down to London to see their Dad (ma Uncle) and my other cousin leave for Ghana. Anyway... me and Nana Poku [he's the one who uses black markers a lot]... well like i said me and him are inside there and i was getting bored so i decided to play something on him: REPEAT EVERYTHING HE SAYS!!
The poor kid... after about 3 minutes of repeating his stuff... I began to smirk... then he stopped saying everything else but "It's not fair"... unrelenting I kept on repeating after him... "It's not fair" and still smirking. Then he looked up at me.... in all his 3 years of innocence and said "IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!".
Wow! Was this my bad day or what? Even the lil' kid knows i aint funny!
Episode Three:
After ma lil' couzon has shied me and nigga's gotten some rest. I was just walking along the road going to get a bus for the second job when I got a call from some chic at the agency that finds me the jobs. Earlier.. they'd told me of some appointments I could work on for Thusrday & Friday. Well... basically she called to tell me I couldt have the job cos the clients had specificallt requested a female. I was cool wit that but she was tryining to xpalin that it wasnt anything my fault or some shit like that.
So I decided to crack one... I said, "Dont worry Gemma, I'll just sue." Then she went like "OK. See you then, bye Fred." Whew... she missed the joke. Now thinking of it, I think she mistook "I'll sue" for "I'll see you"... <sighs> What a bad day!!
So for the rest of the day...and maybe all of this week I'm putting off cracking any jokes. 'Cos I cant stand being told "Piss off nigga, U aint funny". Three times is enuff for a week.
Author: Tiffany
Date/Time: August 12, 2004 10:00 AM
Don't worry, Faf. You can make the not-funny sound funny in re-telling. You've still got it, kid.
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