A Search for the Perfect Girlfriend...

In case you haven't noticed this is not Faf writing this entry. Neither his decorated protege, BrownAngel.

I am what you may call as Abe, Stormy, Stormchild, owner of tristorm.org, gf, girlfriend or crazy possessive bitch who has issues with any female crossing Faf's path. Whichever label you prefer, stick with it. Before I continue onto the main subject, I'd like to state that I may come across as overly-possessive, mainly as a joke, but occasionally to scare some hopeful females (and gay ghanaians :P.. private joke) away. It can be a bit disturbing when there is a limitless list of girls who Faf keeps in contact* with, and certain conversations may cross the line of a harmless* platonic nature, particularly when some 16 yr old girl is shockingly descriptive about her sexual escapades and may as well be planning a Sex in the City: London comeback**. Yea, so all I'm saying is that I'm just doing my job with the filtering of potential threats and such, as many girls say, its not my man I'm worried about, its everybody else. And don't go thinking its a one-sided opinion; we've had our fair share of arguments!

Well back to these pictures I was gettin developed of Elton John naked.. oops.. wrong quote. (D12 anybody?)

Your beloved Faf and I were having a late night/early morning discussion about what his perfect girlfriend would be, and I have decided to compile a list of the following attributes from my point of view, hence he may not agree with all of them. If you know of anyone or think you hold the qualities for Faf's perfect girlfriend, please indicate in the comments and we will get back to you.

1. Genetically female


2. Live in the UK, preferably in close proximity to Tottenham, but not necessary


3. Any ethnic background is welcomed; East Asian or Ghanaian will win you brownie points. NB: Any persons of caribbean descent may lose brownie points with his mum


4. Age 20+, preferably older than 22! Any persons aged lower than this may have to provide a valid passport or visa for proof of age and identity.


5. Must be computer literate. (Does not include ability to type goggle.com and then pressing the go button in IE.. that stands for Internet Explorer!)


6. Likes all things Halo, and be able to enjoy playing and watching for hours on end.. particularly on relatively unimportant events such as birthdays, christmas or new years.


7. Lacks ability in curiosity: does not go about asking questions like inspector.


8. Enjoys watching Stargate SG1, Sopranos, The Daily Show, The Wire and any other american export she can get his hands on


9. Can call at unpredictably appropriate times


10. Can tolerate frequent bursts of intoxicating flatulence and is prepared to be awakened by them during the night


11. Does not drink beer or preferably any type of alcohol.


12. Has a(n older) sister :P


13. Be warm inside :P


14. Enjoy all genres of music; mainly hiphop (Busta Rhymes) and random Ghanaian music such as Reggie Rockstone


15. Doesn't plan ahead


16. Has a nice smelling pussy & a plentiful supply of juice wot comes wiv it

Well, thats all for now, when I think of more I'll add to the list. If you are interested in applying, please leave a comment.

*loose term
**not necessarily true

Author: BrownAangel
Date/Time: January 3, 2005 6:41 PM

hmmm.... First off, I would like to say this is not an application and I am NOT, I repeat NOT interested.

I felt the onerous impetus to respond and comment on a few things.

First of I am Not that boys protege... I may ramble a little and he may have provided a blank canvas for my mental vomit, but HIS protege I am not!

Comments:
1. Ewww to the flatulence ( seems like such a FAF thing too, a lack of decorum... u better return the favor Abe)

2. So very like a GH guy to expect an unmoving, unthinking yet smart and perceptive with extreme powers of deduction to know when its ok to call and also have an overly moist, warm and fun pussy.

3. And oooh any guy who thinks playing video games all day is cool or romantic shdn't get any ass ever....

Charley, BrownAngel, cut the boy some slack small....;). I guess it was all Abe's points of view, but I'm wondering what Faf has to comment.

cheers, wherever you are.

Teddy, step aside. Brown Angel is right ewww to the farts!!!

Abe, come on! The same things that attracted you to him are the same thing that are going to attract others... gay or not ;)
And no, this is not an application either. But I AM curious, why does it seem like you're looking for the perfect girlfriend for him? Are you planning on dumping him? What's your idea of the perfect boyfriend?
Just curious.

P.S. I have a few friends who would love your ass. No pun intended. ;)

wow... how did i miss these comments? i'm pretty sure i subsribed to this.

anyway... i'll tell the truth... everything she said is true. plus more that i cant think of.

my perfect girlfriend. mnnn!

and brownie.. you know you are... admit it! prote... someting.

I like to smell little boys' farts. Is this normal? Is there a website where I can meet others who like the same things I do?

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